When Both Options Are Good

Both doors are good. That is the problem.

Early on, the hard decisions were between something that worked and something that did not, and a clear head and a spreadsheet could settle them. At a certain level that changes. The partnership opportunity makes sense and so does the acquisition. A new product direction is exciting and so is doubling down on the existing one. The potential hire from the big firm is impressive and so is growing the person who has been with you for years into a bigger role. Every door you are standing in front of is a good door, and you can make the argument for either side all day long.

This is where I watch capable founders lose months. The analysis and the due diligence keep circling because they are doing their job: they compare the options, and honestly, both are good. When is it an opportunity, and when is it a distraction? And which comes first? Pros and cons were built for a good option and a lesser one. They were never built to tell you which of two good futures is yours.

Judgment is the faculty for making decisions: a blend of your taste, your ability to analyze the data, and your understanding of where the bigger picture is headed, in your company and in the culture at large. It is what got you here, and it is what you are paid for, especially as a founder or CEO. At this level, the bad options rarely reach your desk anymore; your judgment and your team filtered them out long ago. What remains are good doors, and between two good doors, judgment leans on what you already know and what you hope is true. Discernment sees things as they are, even the unseen part, and shows you which door is yours.

The knowing answers a different question.

The mind asks which option is better. When the thoughts slow down, there is an opening, and a knowing comes through that already knows which one is yours. The work is to open, to receive, and to listen.

When I sit with a founder in front of two good options, we stop comparing and slow down the reasoning brain, just for a minute. The first thing we do is let go of the preference, because it speaks louder than anything else and clouds the clarity that could come through.

The purpose is discernment that goes beyond intellectual understanding.

So we go to the middle way, a neutral place where you don't mind which way it goes. From there, we intentionally open ourselves to wisdom.

Then we take each option in turn: Does it feel expansive? Does it feel exciting? Does it feel free? Is there a smile in it? Or is there an uneasiness about one of them that you can't explain?

I have watched founders discover that the option they were first excited about promised the bigger return, and it was a door that was never theirs, dressed up as an immediate opportunity.

The subtle trick of our own mind is easy to miss, and the allure of grandiose potential is exciting. So use this as the last step, after all the factual work is done. When we let go of what we like and ask for the ultimate good and the truth, the best option is illuminated, and we gain clarity on a direction worthy of leading our team and company into.

Starting now: weigh A and B from the middle.

This week, choose one decision where you need clarity. Name your two options: A and B. Close your eyes, take a few slow breaths, and open your heart until the thoughts slow down. Then let go of the preference and say to yourself: I don't mind which way this goes. I trust that the true path will be shown to me.

In your mind's eye, put A in one hand and hold it loosely. Feel it for a while: how does this one feel? Is this the right way to go? After a while, come back to the middle. Now put B in the other hand and feel it the same way. Come back to the middle again. Go back and forth, A, the middle, B, the middle, once or twice more.

Then ask one question of each: is this mine, now, later, or not? Listen, and take the first answer that comes, before the reasons show up. If you pray, ask the Creator to show you, and trust that the answer will feel like home. Give thanks for it, and write down what you heard for A and for B.

If it isn't clear today, do it again tomorrow. When I was first learning this, for important decisions I would hold the question for days until the clarity came. I could go about my day, but part of my focus stayed on the matter, and I kept asking and weighing until one option became loud and clear. What you just did is the shortcut.

In my sessions, I use a series of techniques to help clients make critical decisions without falling back into old fears, clearing what pulls them back so the choice can be made cleanly and they can take the action it requires. Discernment walks you through the door that is yours.

Eugene